Gossip Girl Confirmed To Be a 40-Year-Old Man With Wife and Children

As a result of a weeks-long investigation conducted by The Pepper’s staff, TriMUN’s gossip girl has been uncovered as a middle-aged British geezer facing his second divorce, as well as severe gambling issues. Considering the gossip girl’s recent anonymously made comments, as well as accusations of being a „clanker”, it is somewhat concerning why the secretariat would make such a decision.

The infamous „gossip girl” has been a staple of MUN conferences worldwide, stirring up much-needed drama and providing participants with an anonymous platform to make controversial and unconventional statements. Ever since the idea was created, the speculation around the identity of the gossip girl has become an essential part of every MUN conference, giving all participants a sense of thrill and mystique that has become a must-have for such an event.

Tradition mandates that the gossip girl be a member of the secretariat, with their identity being revealed right after the event’s conclusion. However, a recent investigation conducted by our outlet has yielded a shocking result. An unnamed middle-aged man hailing from Newcastle, United Kingdom, has been uncovered as being the enigmatic gossip girl from the very start. 

While not much is currently known about the man hiding behind the gossip girl’s name, our staff has been informed by an anonymous source that he is currently in a decades-long marriage with one of the members of the secretariat, with whom he has two children suspected to be among TriMUN’s delegates. One of our editors has also reported to have come across the gossip girl’s Grindr profile, successfully catfishing him into revealing tea about the TriMUN secretariat. However, due to the deeply disturbing and bigoted nature of said comments, The Pepper has decided not to include them. Based on estimates provided by eyewitnesses, our staff managed to draw up a sketch of the gossip girl:

Considering the unusual identity of the gossip girl, recent comments made on TriMUN’s gossip profile have now sparked outrage among participants. While it is understandable for a 16-year-old to make constant sexual references and talk about other people’s romantic lives, it is very confusing as to why a grown ass man with a family would make such remarks. Just today, the following statements have been posted to the gossip girl’s instagram account, calling their intent and moral value into question.

When asked about why the secretariat would make such a risky decision, Secretary General Szymon Paśko has said: „I find it quite offending to assume that just because the title „gossip girl” has the word „girl”, they automatically have to be of the female gender. What’s wrong with a gossip girl being a man for one? These snowflakes need to chill the f*** out”.  After being countered with the fact that the issue doesn’t lie in the gossip girl’s gender, SG Paśko reportedly pretended to receive a text message and immediately walked off. 

Fortunately or not, it seems like the gossip girl will remain the same for the entirety of the conference. While multiple delegates have outright criticised this decision, calling it „insane” and „kukunamuniu”, members of the secretariat continue to fully support the gossip girl’s actions. Stay tuned with The Pepper to see how this issue will be resolved later during the conference!