One of the SC Ambassadors Needs to Shut the F*** Up

According to numerous members of TriMUN’s Security Council committee, that one ambassador, the one who sits over there and acts like they’re Nelson Madela, seriously needs to shut the f*** up

 

Their fellow committee members describe their speeches as eager, interested, and incredibly annoying. 

„He thinks he knows about diplomacy,” said one of our anonymous sources. „But I hate his voice, and I hate the way he only half raises his placcard, like he’s so laid back. We’re supposed to be doing punishments soon, but I don’t know if I can’t wait that long before deciding it’s a good enough punishment to pound his face in.”

Another ambassador added: „If he uses the phrase ‚multifaceted approach’ one more time, I’m going to shove my copy of the UN Charter down his throat”

Although they have demonstrated familiarity with the implications of the Yemeni Civil war on the Red Sea region, as well as the involvement of the Houthi movement in said conflict, they are reportedly unfamiliar with the theory of keeping your mouth shut and giving someone else a chance to speak. 

Among the 13 ambassadors present in the committee, there is only one who apparently seems to be enduring most of the suffering.

”Most people know ***** as ’that one guy who doesn’t know how to shut up.’ But I have come to know other sides of him. Some of those include ‚the guy in your philosophy class who clearly lacks basic social skills’ or ‚that one guy at a party who could really use a girlfriend.’”

„I applied to this committee in order to understand issues plaguing the world and find fruitful solutions for them”, said one of the ambassadors. „However, after sitting down with this guy for more than one unmod I understand life a little bit more. Existence is cruel as long as it persists. I keep raising motions for a P5 caucus just to get away from him.”

 

This ambassador notorously abuses their rights. According to an unofficial poll, 93% of the committee now associate the words ‘motion to cite the source’ with impending migraine.

The outspoken ambassador has not gone unnoticed by the committee’s chairboard. „He keeps asking me if I’m proud of him during coffee breaks”, President Natalia Munkiewicz remarked. „I think he has some sort of mummy issues.”

Chair Adam Grzyb stated that „while we appreciate all of our ambassador’s contributions to the commitee’s discussions, I found over the course of this conference that something more valuable is the contribution of shutting your damn mouthpiece for once.”